Friday, February 17, 2006

free at last, free at last

Sometime about 12 or 13 years ago, I got my braces off. It was a glorious event, marred only by the fact that they glued this thin metal wire to the back of my lower front teeth to keep them from moving. It was a permanent retainer that I was (potentially) supposed to have for my whole life.

A few days ago, my teeth rebelled and took up arms against their metal oppressor, tearing the sliver of metal away from the glue on one side. And yesterday, when I went to the dentist for him to take a look, my teeth won their freedom, completely and forever, with the removal of the great metal monster. Hallelujah! It's like getting my braces off all over again. The real estate in my mouth feels as if it's increased threefold. The speed bump on the back of my teeth gone, it now feels more like a ramp that's been greased with Crisco. The only bad thing is that, apparently, said retainer acted as a sort of "seat belt" for my tongue...and for the first two hours it was gone, I felt my tongue wanting to slip up and loll forward (and out) of my mouth like a panting dog.

Nevertheless, it is unspeakably great to be able to feel the entire surface of the back of my lower teeth again for the first time in over a decade.

1 comment:

LeslieEdwards said...

Ok then. I guess you've actually been following Dr. Griffin's food orders for over a decade now, because I lost that little shit eight years ago. First apple, snap. Replaced. Second apple, snap. Aw screw it - lets just take it out.