Thursday, March 09, 2006

so, what's in the box?

Despite the fact that she is almost 90, my grandmother is still a very sharp, very "with it" woman. For the most part she acts as if she is 15 to 20 years younger. At Christmas, she always sends tasteful gifts: a stylish scarf, a pair of nice gloves, an interesting book, etc. - she is always very thoughtful. However, she seems to use my birthday as an occasion to exercise her practicality. Every year she sends me a care package for my birthday, and every year it includes items with which to stock my pantry. She either thinks that I am starving, or that I don't know how to shop for myself...or perhaps both.

The thought is endearing, but it's the curiosity of some of the items themselves that make me wonder what she was thinking. It gets weirder every year: I didn't even know some of these existed. Here is the inventory of this year's birthday box:

1 bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies
1 box of Orville Redenbacher "Mini Bags" of Smart Pop
1 package of generic caramel dipped shortbread cookies
1 box of Suddenly Salad Creamy Parmesan Pasta
1 box of Pasta Roni Chicken Quesadilla-flavored Pasta
1 package of Lipton "Asian Sides" Chicken Fried Rice
1 bag of Idahoan Butter & Herb "Just Add Water" Instant Mashed Potatoes.
1 "Lunch Bucket" pasta & chicken
1 package of yellow cornbread mix
1 package of brown gravy mix
1 cannister of French Fried Onions
1 "Lunch Bucket"-style spaghetti rings & franks
1 can Campbell's Split-Pea with Ham & Bacon soup
1 package of Chicken of the Sea shrimp

If I'm ever forced to build a bomb shelter and hide out in it for a couple of weeks, I think I'll be all set.


Alyssa said...

I think I pissed myself. That was hilarious. I remember those packages!

juliet said...

she is obviously concerned that you're not getting enough carbohydrates.